Misc Thoughts!, More on Extroverion Options

[Mary Ann Overbaugh]

Would love to see ideas from others on how to get wedding guests to mingle.

My thought is to hire a professional wedding mingler to keep conversations flowing. This person could make introductions and find areas of commonality to foster conversations.

After I perform a ceremony, I usually find myself in this position. Sometimes I am sitting with two families who don't know each other well and looking for someone to keep the conversation flowing. I find myself as the interviewer/commentator, trying to engage with all and provide inclusiveness as many shy people find this situation difficult. The next day, I have to rest!

Too bad I am not paid for my extroversion as a professional wedding mingler!

[bfjp]

Unless this is a family friend and I have been formally invited to stay......I extend my congratulations to the family and head for the door. It does seem awkward to just quietly leave, but the wedding attendees are there to celebrate the occasion and the JP is there to do a job. Beforehand I might check with the photographer and offer to stay for formal pictures.

[DreamView]

Wow, Mary Ann! You have raised an interesting topic (and one that is a little controversial, perhaps!)

A Professional Wedding Mingler?!

Actually, I am one!

I remember the first seminar that I gave to the Justice of Peace Association several years ago.
A gentleman "colleague" offered only "Repeat after me, Selections Ceremonies",
did not care about meeting the couple ahead of time,
did not attend rehearsals,
did not develop a relationship with his couple
and routinely received his $400.00 fee.

I, at the time, charging $75.00 - $100.00 for my personalized Love Story Ceremonies,
complete with photo enhancements,
was flabbergasted!
I was also making individual reserved signs for seating,
provided linens for tables,
sound enhancement,
played the hostess role ~ie: greeting guests and making them feel comfortable,
along with all of the other little "extras" that my personality type dictates.
I would arrive hours early,
helping with set up and seating;
providing direction and comfort not only to my couple,
but to their family and guests as well.
I had not only attended and directed the rehearsals,
but attended the rehearsal party,
developing deeper relationships that enabled me to further personalize the Ceremony Experience for my couple and their families.
And this was after having correspondence with their immediate family members and their attendants,
in order to deepen those relationships,
not only to produce a more meaningful ceremony,
but to help everyone feel relaxed and comfortable with Jim and I;

that is to DEVELOP A RELATIONSHIP,

which in turns always makes for more memorable and meaningful SERVICE.

The $400.00 "JUST SHOW UP JP" asked me to come to work for him,
charging him the fee that I was giving my couples so that he could pocket the balance!

(it was the beginning of several eye opening steps of the Value Of Services Offered)

The main difference between he and I
(the commonality being that neither of us priced for VALUE of SERVICES OFFERED)
is that "Find the Need and Fill It" is just part of My Personality
and I can no more shut it off completely than change my skin tone or who I am, in the flick of an eye.

My personality is carried through to my professionalism and the services that I would bring to any of my couples.

I am "THE MINGLER",
THE FACILITATOR
and, instinctively when in the position of Hostess for my Couple,
(and that IS how I view my JP or DJ Role!)
or whether on the Steering Committee of The Compassionate Friends,
or on the Board of ADJA and SNAP (two of the the Professional DJ Associations to which I have membership),
past PTA offices,
a Party Guest
or even here as a Forum Administrator,
I view it as my obligation to facilitate conversation.
But it is WHO I AM.

I think that you will find that the majority of JPs believe that their role is to show up,
perform a legal ceremony,
collect their balance due
and go home.

And they would not be wrong.
Technically, that is our Obligation.

Anything else;
The Mingling,
The Hosting,
The Assisting guests to feel comfortable and at home previous to the wedding ceremony,
the being in contact with key family members, attendants, friends, relatives
PRIOR to the ceremony date,
then, again, at the rehearsal,
and again, just before the ceremony begins,
and again, after the ceremony has ended
is not only part of THE FACILITATOR PERSONALITY
but is a
LEVEL OF SERVICE
that not many in our industry want
or can
seek to fulfill.


Do what you feel the need to do.
Provide the Level of Service that allows you to look in the mirror and be proud.

And don't forget to let your ultimate fees reflect the level of Service
and the Value
that you offer!

Thanks for bringing this discussion to The Forum!

~Bettie-Jeanne,
Wedding Ceremony Design Specialist

[JPMaryF]

I can't imagine not wanting to meet my couples and develop a relationship with them. I just did my very first ceremony last night (it went BEAUTIFULLY!), and I spent 6 weeks with my couple, meeting multiple times to plan and create the perfect vows and ceremony agenda just for them. Helping them bring their dream wedding together was the best part!