''It's nerve-racking,'' she said.
In the last few days before the civil union law passed this year by the state lLegislature goes into effect, the people involved in making the ceremonies happen -- same-sex couples, town clerks, justices of the peace -- are preparing in earnest.
Some of the questions surrounding civil unions, which become legal on Oct. 1, have been answered. On Tuesday, for instance, Attorney General Richard Blumenthal issued an opinion stating that the state would recognize civil unions and domestic partnerships granted by other states but not same-sex marriages.
But from the legal to the logistical, numerous questions remain, not the least of which is what dress Ms. Boylan should wear to her ceremony.
Justices of the peace and religious leaders said last week that they had not yet learned what wording to use when they preside over civil unions. That's one of several questions expected to be answered at a conference for justices of the peace to be held on Saturday at Middlesex Community College in Middletown.
Barbara Jay, of Westport, is running the conference. Four years ago, along with her husband, Saul Haffner, a justice of the peace, she started Justices of the Peace of Connecticut, an organization that helps couples find people in their communities to preside over their weddings. The organization has since expanded into three more states and is now called Justices of the Peace of the U.S.
As of Tuesday, 165 people were expected to attend the conference, including justices of the peace, town clerks and clergy members.
Although they acknowledged that what to say at certain points of the ceremony was not a life-or-death question, justices of the peace said they were confused about it. They weren't sure, for instance, what words to use instead of husband and wife.
''The wording is always an interesting thing,'' said Bettie-Jeanne Rivard-Darby, a justice of the peace in Ellington who was planning to attend the conference. ''I haven't quite figured it out yet. I'm very eager to see what other people use.''
Steven Mitchell, a justice of the peace in Simsbury, said he thought justices of the peace would be doing a lot of civil unions because various religious denominations have denounced the practice and won't be presiding at ceremonies.
''The religious leaders may shy away from doing them,'' he said.
But some in the religious community are eager to participate in civil unions.
The Rev. Susan De Simone, a retired pastor for the United Church of Christ who lives in Greenwich, planned to attend the conference and write about civil union ceremonies for the church's newsletter. The United Church of Christ, she said, has voted to support same-sex marriages and she hopes the state eventually approves full marriage for same-sex couples. She said she would be available to preside over civil unions, although she would need the permission of the congregation to hold a civil union ceremony in a church.
''It is very exciting because it is going to bring a lot of stability and happiness to couples who are already committed to each other,'' she said.
Other conferences and seminars for lawyers, judges and same-sex couples have taken place or are scheduled for the coming weeks. Throughout the last few months, Love Makes a Family of Connecticut, which supports gay rights, has held seminars for same-sex couples and others on how to proceed with civil unions and what rights they will secure. The Connecticut Bar Association has planned a seminar about the new law for Friday at the Quinnipiac University School of Law.
The Connecticut Town Clerks Association held a conference in Southbury last week during which the topic of civil unions was on the agenda. Town clerks and registrars have no set policy on whether to open their offices on a Saturday, which is the day of the week the law takes effect.
Love Makes a Family has posted a list on its Web site of towns that will open their doors to same-sex couples on Oct. 1. The vast majority, according to the site, will be closed. Some, like the town hall in Kent, plan to open for a few hours in the morning, while others, like the town hall in Bethel, plan to give out licenses that day by appointment.
One organization will celebrate the day with an eye to the future. Love Makes a Family, which initially opposed civil unions as a poor alternative to marriage, will hold a party called ''Celebrate the Love: Civil Union Today, Marriage Tomorrow'' at the Four Points Sheraton in Meriden. Even as couples celebrate civil unions, Love Makes a Family intends to keep the spotlight on its ultimate goal.
''While congratulating couples getting civil unions, we are trying to keep the message out there that civil unions is not marriage,'' said Anne Stanback, the group's president.
Another group, meanwhile, wants to stress an opposing point: that civil unions are not right for Connecticut. On Oct. 1 at noon, the Family Institute of Connecticut Action plans to hold a protest on the front steps of the state Capitol in Hartford. Brian Brown, the president of the organization, said he thinks civil unions are essentially the same thing as same-sex marriages, a concept most Connecticut residents oppose.
''We're going to make sure every voter in the state knows who voted to redefine marriage and who voted to protect it,'' he said.
All politics aside, for the couples most closely involved in planning civil unions the next week will be just like the week before a traditional marriage.
''It's more than just thinking about it now,'' David Frishkorn said on Thursday. He was being fitted for his tuxedo later in the day.
Mr. Frishkorn, an executive with an office technology company from Norwalk, planned his civil union ceremony for Oct. 6, his 17th anniversary with his partner, Jack Hellaby. Even though the ceremony is on a Thursday, 125 people are coming, and as of last week there were still decisions to be made, from flowers to formal wear.
''It's just all the final touches right now,'' Mr. Frishkorn said.