Justice of the Peace Newsletter Late Fall 2005

Special Feature: Jane Kelley, a New Hampshire institution and a JP inspiration at 80!

We called Jane Kelley after reading Andrea Bulfinch's interview in the Portsmouth Herald (NH) last month. We had a delightful conversation and she is now a member of www.jpUS.org. At least one of the 9 weddings she performed in January came from a candy manufacturer who saw her smiling face on www.findaJP.com. (He brought her candy.) Jane will be 80 years old on February 7 and hopes that somebody is planning a surprise party for her. She's had her share of illness (breast cancer, heart failure, hip and knee replacements) but remains upbeat and says life is better than ever. HAPPY BIRTHDAY JANE!

She’s been a justice of the peace since 1977, has married more than 2,000 couples, and even had Grace Chapel built in the back yard of her Hampton home in 1986. Jane Kelley has a thriving sense of humor, a friendly smile, and aspires to be on the Ellen DeGeneres Show. She’ll offer her opinions and give your special day some added laughter and smiles.

A Jane Kelley Tip:
"I always consider performing a marriage a bit of theatre. Like I am the star of a puppet show. One thing stands out after all these years. If a groom is exceedingly nervous he always puts one foot forward -- braced for self protection. One way to get the groom to relax is to whisper in his ear: 'Fix your zipper!' It dispels all tension."

ANDREA BULFINCH: Can people write their own vows, or do you read a certain text?
JANE KELLEY: I read a certain text. Because most people want to write their own vows, but they’re not writers, and some of them come out really stupid.
ANDREA: Was the chapel here when you moved in?
JANE: No, I had it built.
ANDREA: What inspired you to become a justice of the peace?
JANE: The money!
ANDREA: Is there good money in this business?
JANE: I charge $125, and that includes me and the chapel and all the decor. And in the summer, I have beautiful flower gardens. I’m a very good gardener and a very lousy housekeeper.
ANDREA: Do people do theme weddings often?
JANE: Well one couple came up from Methuen and the whole wedding party came in a bus and they all had those glasses with the big nose and the mustache. Even for the flower girl, they even got one for me.
ANDREA: Did you wear it?
JANE: Yeah, and to get even, I had a recording by Jack Teagarden singing "Someday You’ll Be Sorry." The bride didn’t like that but the groom loved it!
ANDREA: How many weddings do you perform per week?
JANE: It’s very spotty. I do, say, 130 per year. Sometimes I’ll do five in a day. But lately it’s been terrible because I was going to Mexico and I didn’t book any weddings. Been going through a long dry spell.
ANDREA: Is the holiday season a popular time to get married?
JANE: Yes, very. I booked a couple for Christmas Eve, one for New Year’s Eve day. People like to start the new year with everything new. And then the groom doesn’t forget the anniversary!
ANDREA: Will you marry people at any location, or do people come to you?
JANE: I don’t care to travel anymore.
ANDREA: If people like musicals, can they ask you to sing the readings during the ceremony?
JANE: I used to punish my children by singing to them, they’d say "Mom, stop, I’ll never do it again!" No, I’ve done some where I’ve had a piano player and a violinist and the kids were in Harvard med school and her professor gave her away, they were all Harvard med students. But ordinarily I just put the CD on. One time I had the wrong CD on and right in the middle of it, the recessional tune started blaring out, ha ha, like it was over....
ANDREA: Has anyone ever been left at the altar?
JANE: Yes.
ANDREA: You seem to have a good sense of humor, you must have a lot of fun moments in the chapel.
JANE: I do. I want to be a stand-up comic. I think I’ll write to Ellen DeGeneres because I saw her show and I guess she was a stand-up comic. I think there’s room for somebody 80 years old. There’s not very many of us still alive!
ANDREA: What’s the most memorable wedding you’ve done?
JANE: Oh golly. I met a couple, we agreed to meet in the middle of October at Odiorne Point, just the two of them, because you don’t need witnesses in this state. I get there and the rain is coming down in sheets and it’s awful. And she’s sitting in this little coup and she’s crying and she said, "I can’t get married in the car and there’s no place!" And I said, "I know a place." So we go to the women’s comfort station and I married them in front of the stalls. And when I was finished I said, "Let’s have some recessional music!" And I flushed all the toilets.
ANDREA: What’s your favorite wedding song?
JANE: My favorite is a little Bach. Pachelbel’s Canon isn’t bad. But I don’t have people play their songs because they put their song on and the two of ‘em stand there and they go from one foot to the other and they start twitching and it seems to go on forever....
ANDREA: Do you have to have a background in religion to do this?
JANE: No, no. If they want religion, I tell them to go to the church and it runs into a lot of money. If you want a small wedding, the church is no place to do it, you get lost. It gives you an empty feeling when you see two dozen people sitting in the front row.
ANDREA: If you’re the justice of the peace, who is the justice of war?
JANE: [Answer omitted in the interests of justice and peace. Ed.]
This is an edited version of the interview, reproduced with permission of Andrea Bulfinch and Seacoast Media Group.

I am one of the busiest JPs in NH. I only attend the reception if there is a strong bond/friendship that has been established with the couple. The only gift I bring is a hand-written bible verse and a copy of their ceremony, it is sooooo appreciated. MyraAnne Healey, Weare NH

        I have had brides assume that I am staying & pay for my dinner. Early on, I felt guilty & stayed once or twice. However, I tired of making small talk & back then the smokers! After that, I simply said thank you, but no. Often I get a formal invitation & then I thank them kindly & say I do not wish to give them additional expense. When I have stayed, I gave them a framed wedding certificate. Rita Katona, Wallingford CT
        I performed a lunchtime civil union during the week and was invited to stay for lunch at their house with the immediate family. I had to get back to work and so politely refused. I was then invited for dinner which was being brought in from my favorite Indian restaurant. I couldn't say no. The meal was terrific. Laura Minor, Bristol CT
        I have stayed for receptions on rare occasions, e.g., if I'm formally invited and it's a place/facility I've never been to and want to check out the food and service. I give all the couples I marry a small split of champagne (alcoholic or non-alcoholic, whichever they choose). Eileen Cavanaugh, Branford CT

Q and A: Two Weddings

Q: I had a justice of the peace wedding in one state and now we are having a church wedding in another... Do we apply for another marriage license in that state? Kelly
A: If you are already married, you can have another ceremony without license and it won't be registered with the state. But the officiant will want to see proof of the marriage before performing the ceremony.
Q: Thanks but I have yet another question. Would we be able to get a marriage license in that state (CT)? A few key relatives don't know that we already had a wedding and would be very upset if they ever found out. So we were thinking of getting a license in CT as well. Kelly
A: According to our Town Clerk, if you are truthful and say you are married, the TC will not issue another license. A wedding officiant may perform a "ceremony" without the license but is unlikely to pronounce you man and wife. Better ask your TC what to do.

Update on Same Sex Marriage
In Rhode Island Every year since 1997 except one, legislation legalizing same sex marriage has been introduced in Rhode Island. Last week, it happened again. The chances of passage are no better than in previous years.
In New Hampshire After 18 months of study, a commission intended to explore the issue of same sex marriage recommended instead that the NH state constitution be amended to define marriage as between a man and a woman. Two minority reports disagreed.
In Virginia For the second year in a row, a constitutional amendment banning same sex marriage passed both houses of the Virginia state legislature, ensuring that a November referendum will be held on whether to amend the state's 230-year-old Bill of Rights to bar same-sex marriages. Thirty-eight states have enacted laws or constitutional amendments defining marriage as between one man and one woman. Virginia adopted a statute in 1998, but conservatives want constitutional assurances.

South Africa will become the fifth country -- and the first in Africa -- to legalize same sex marriage after its highest court said last month it was unconstitutional to deny gay couples the right to wed. The court ordered that the definition of marriage be changed from a "union between a man and a woman" to a "union between two persons." Gay marriage is already legal in Belgium, the Netherlands, Canada and Spain.

Canine Ceremonies
We suspect that many JPs have had experience with dogs in the ceremony -- as witness, interloper, or co-officiant.
Send us your anecdotes for the next issue.

Connecticut Bridal Show
As an experiment, www.jpUS.org and 12 Connecticut JPs greeted prospective brides, their friends and family (sometimes even the groom) at a Justice of the Peace booth at the Connecticut Bridal Expo in Hartford during the last weekend in January. Results are not yet in, but photos are.

Elsewhere In the News: UN Headquarters: The Newest Venue for Marriage Proposals?
by Janina Dill
Shortly before the holidays, the monumental General Assembly hall at United Nations headquarters in New York was in the loveliest way divested from its intended use. On December 22, 39-year-old Alan Daly knelt where the world's diplomats and heads of state usually share their visions on world affairs, and asked his girlfriend, Bettina Hausman, to marry him. A few moments later, Hausman, the first known bride to be who was proposed to inside the UN, said "yes." Read more

Seeking a Jewish JP for a wedding in Perkinsville, Vermont on August 12, 2006. If you know a JP who qualifies, please write to newsletter@jpUS.org.

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Saul Haffner
saulhaffner@jpus.org